I have seen the film by the same title as this entry. I think I would of preferred men with chainsaws harvesting body parts and not the hell I have found myself on at least 3 occasions.
I once enjoyed spending months on end jumping from hostel to hostel on globe-trotting travels but in my arguably wiser, less tolerant years there are a few things that have tested me far more than the cycling.
- Getting bitten on the backside by some horrible creature that has probably fed on a 100 backsides before mine.
- Seeing one of those creatures in point 1 crawl across my bed sheet.
- Sleeping for less than an hour whilst 2 men take it in turns to break world record snoring competitions.
- Continuing to hear world snoring championships whilst listening to my Ipod on full blast.
- (This is where I get really mad) – Some bloke tapping me on the shoulder and asking me to turn my Ipod down because he is trying to sleep.
- Standing in flip flops in a shower room where everything is wet and floating. The bottom of the shower curtain is so mouldy that it would probably respond if I asked it a question.
- The musty smell of body odour that lingers in a 10 man dormitory even with the windows wide open and tiger balm on my top lip.
- Sleeping in a ‘V’ shape in a bunk bed with old springs
- Waking up to see a full grown man in baggy pyjamas (dirty white with small flowers)
- Seeing guy in pyjamas constantly trying to pull them up to cover his backside crack.
- Waiting until 3.am when the last drunk people attempt to try and get into bed and worse of all try to do it quietly saying “suuuuusshhhhh there are people trying to sleep”
Finally, to put the icing on the cake in my tirade on the hostel is the person that decided to steal my only way of connecting with my bike in my SPD clip in shoes. Probably a top ten item of annoying things for a person to steal sitting closely behind my trusty steed, Passport and wallet.
I know that I will not be able to completely avoid the hostel. As a bare minimum its the best way of getting a wi fi connection and are full of local information in English.